


Willing to Forgive

by starsoverhead



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-27
Updated: 2012-07-27
Packaged: 2017-11-10 20:52:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/470570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsoverhead/pseuds/starsoverhead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They had been together, but then there was a faked death and a deployment.  Now there seemed to be a girlfriend.  And Reid thinks he's good at holding a grudge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Willing to Forgive

The doctors had made it clear that, while the head wound wasn’t life threatening, it would be best if Reid wasn’t left alone for the next forty-eight hours. “I can take care of that,” Hotch said, allowing no argument. He knew enough about Reid, even after seven months of separation, that he knew he could probably take better care of him than Spencer himself would.

He kept an arm around shoulders that used to be narrower, leading him from the elevator down the spartan hallway that led to his apartment door. “I can walk,” he protested, but Hotch shook his head.

“I saw how you were clinging to the rails in the elevator.”

His argument so swiftly denied, all Spencer could do was sigh and lean against Hotch as he was bid. “Did you at least tell Jack?”

“He’s expecting you. He even offered to be quiet for the sake of your headache.”

Spencer caught himself smiling - a faint, surprised smile. “He’s a good kid.”

“Yeah, he is.” Hotch glanced at him and smiled before lightly knocking at the door. It was Jessica who opened it, giving them both a sympathetic look.

“Come on, come in - dinner’s almost ready and Jack put the best pillows on the couch for you, Agent Reid.”

With a grateful nod, Spencer let Hotch guide him inside, even guide him to sit and lay down on the couch. The bandage around his head wasn’t pretty but he liked having the bit of padding that it afforded. Jack sat beside him and asked softly, “Does it hurt?”

“Yeah, it does, but I’m going to be okay,” Reid assured him, managing a little smile.

Jack seemed encouraged, but he still asked, “What happened?”

Knowing he couldn’t exactly tell Jack the truth about being pistol-whipped hard enough that he was both concussed and slightly bloodied beneath the bandage, he had to think quickly - but that was a little difficult when he could literally feel his thoughts darting through his brain, perfectly speedy and natural until they reached the location of his concussion, where they immediately dissolved into nonsense about nanoseconds of wire and something to do with cows.

He never wanted to be concussed again.

“Your dad saved me from a bad guy,” he finally managed. It was a part of the truth, so he didn’t have the weight of lying on his conscience, and it was simple enough that he could actually manage to say it as he thought it.

Jack gave him a glowing smile and nodded. “My daddy is awesome.”

“He really is,” Reid agreed, even if a part of him was still on the fence about that. Jack ran off into the kitchen and Reid let his eyes close. He wasn’t supposed to sleep just yet but there was nothing wrong with resting his eyes as he reflected on whether or not he was ready to forgive Hotch for not just the secret but the deployment and the dating rumours that were circulating around the office.

He managed his way through eating though just the motion of chewing made every part of his head hurt. While he may not have been perfectly happy with Hotch, at least he knew Hotch would respect his boundaries about painkillers. And really, this was actually less painful than one of his migraines.

Once she was sure everyone had eaten, Jessica bid them all good night and, not long after that, Jack was tucked in bed and sleeping, his homework checked over by Hotch’s competent eye. Reid had tried to think his way through many of the books that resided in his head, but each one of them hit that bruise on his brain and left him reading gibberish so he’d ended up reclined on the couch, trying to talk himself out of being exhausted.

It was when he looked up and saw Hotch standing in the doorway that he knew that this was the time of day both of them had dreaded. There were only three options at this point and only one allowed for them to act like adults. Reid took a deep breath and slowly sat up, leaning heavily on the sofa’s back, knees bent to make room for Hotch. Room that Hotch took, seating himself within arm’s reach but not encroaching on Spencer’s bubble of personal space.

The rooms of his apartment had become more welcoming since Jack had come to stay with him. Before, there had only been boxes and case files, but now, there was the scattered detritus of everyday life with an elementary schooler. Crayons tucked away here and there. Drawings and worksheets with the letter A marked and circled in vibrant blue stuck to the fridge with magnets that starred Power Rangers and photos of Jack playing in the park. A plastic dinosaur beside the TV— or, rather, it had been beside the TV. Now the football-sized triceratops was in Hotch’s hand.

A crutch. Something to do with his hands beside grab Spencer and hug him and apologise until he couldn’t breathe. He didn’t want to force anything on him. Not now.

“So,” Reid said, breaking the silence and leaving Hotch to pick up the pieces.

“So.”

So. He hated that word now. ‘So.’ It meant too damned much in this context, but mostly it meant it was time to swallow his pride. “No matter how much I apologise, it won’t be enough, will it?” he asked, looking over at Spencer and trying to soothe himself that the bruise that spread beyond his hairline, below the bandage, wasn’t his fault.

Whatever Reid had expected, that degree of honesty wasn’t it. He swallowed and met Aaron’s eyes. “A few minutes ago, I would’ve said no. I was ready to be hurt and hold the grudge for… for years if I had to, but now that you’ve asked, I…” The acknowledgement, he realised, consciously thinking away from his slightly-spongy wound, was what made the difference. That for once, someone wasn’t making him apologise for something that wasn’t his fault.

He hadn’t told Hotch to leave, to keep a secret from him, to ignore rebuilding - reestablishing - their relationship that they’d had to drop when he’d gone overseas. He’d had the right to be angry at being lied to. He’d had the right to feel betrayed, especially after disclosing to Hotch that the job had started to feel worthless, something he’d still not completely gotten over, even if he had to admit that the team felt like family.

Family wasn’t always something to cling to, as his father, Hotch’s father, and many of the cases they’d worked had shown him. Sometimes the best thing you could do with family was walk away.

But now, looking at Aaron, Spencer could see that this had been ripping into him. The stress, the strain, the worry, the fear, the pain — it was all visible in a pair of eyes that he had missed for too damned long.

“I can forgive you,” he murmured. “I do forgive you. I just can’t hug you because my head really hurts; can you come over here and hug me instead?”

With a helpless laugh, Aaron set the triceratops aside to close the distance between them, gathering Spencer into his arms, careful of his bandaged and aching head. “Anything. Anything,” he whispered, full of relief and more than a small measure of joy. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Reid’s head settled against his shoulder, letting someone else take the weight for a while. A burden shared… He was amazed at how good it felt. “Enough to start dating?” The question was part tease and part honest question, but Hotch’s answer started with a snort.

“I’m not dating her. She was training for a different triathlon, and I think I was her encouragement.”

“Are you dating me, now?”

“To the point where I’ll be really sad if I can’t sleep beside you tonight.”

“Couch isn’t wide enough.”

“My bed is.”

“Aaron—” He started to pull back but Aaron gently prevented him.

“Not like that. Tonight, you just need rest, and… I think we need to get to know each other again before we do anything like that.”

That, Spencer could, and did, agree with - with possibly the smallest nod in history. He was smiling as, a pillow in one hand, Aaron guided him down the hallway and into the bedroom they’d shared a few times before. He was gentle with helping Reid into a T-shirt and sweats that had to have the drawstring pulled tight to keep them from slipping off his hips (which Spencer couldn’t help chuckling at). But then, with both of them dressed and ready, he pulled back the sheets for Spencer to climb in, staying close until he was settled.

“You’re going to mother me to death,” Reid murmured and got a wry smile in return.

“Somebody’s got to make sure you take care of yourself. I even filed for leave for both of us; you’re taking sick days, I’m taking some vacation time, and we’re…” He took a deep breath as he pulled the covers up over his legs. “We’re going to piece things back together. Not the least of which is your head.”

“I kind of think my bruised head has put some things back together already,” Spencer countered.

Hotch smiled, reaching over to turn off the lights. The room was darkened but, having prepared himself months before, there was a warm glimmer of light from a night light in the shape of a turtle. Jack had picked it out, and now it was doing its duty. Seeing it made Reid smile as well. Hotch wasn’t going to leave him to his fear of the dark.

Aaron’s smile turned warm as he edged himself to lay down there in the bed, arms offered. It only took Spencer a second to decide to risk it, scooting over until his head was resting on Aaron’s shoulder, bruised side up. There were fingers beneath his chin, though, tilting his head carefully back until he could feel lips touch his. It was just like he remembered, even with his thoughts pinging around like bubbles in champagne. It was warm and caring, loving, accepting…

He wasn’t going to walk away from this again, no matter what.


End file.
